Giving up on yourself is part of the process.

No one in the world is 100% committed to health, 100% of the time. So sometimes, you have to find a way to muscle through and stay on the path. But sometimes, you have to let yourself give up, and experience what that’s like. REALLY do it. Deeply indulge in your moping, throw your tantrum, eat a piece of that gross cake you bought at Safeway. And then…three hours later, or a day later, or a week later, remember you’ve got only one life, and you’re its ultimate author. Are you going to spend it stuck in ‘victim state’, or are you going to get back up, take control, and create the health, beauty, and joy that is absolutely within your grasp?

Oooh boy….do I know this one well.

I believe we are all, to some degree, resistant to doing what’s good for us. I believe that that’s part of our deal as humans – to learn how to work effectively with that struggle, and by doing so, heal our wounds and really, become the heroes of our own lives. How amazing is it to be able to look back on how we were a year ago, or five years ago, and to be able to see and really feel how far we’ve come! To be able to honor and acknowledge the changes we’ve made, and how our lives have improved because of it!

That said…every so often, I, like most other human beings, am susceptible to getting sucked into this whiny, “what’s the point”, super-downtrodden state. I call it my inner victim. It’s that “poor me”, self-pitying mode, in which I deny responsibility for my own life and for taking care of my own needs. YUCK! You’d think no rational and sane person would want to go there, yet I absolutely have a little (and at times, big) victim inside that occasionally takes over and runs the show.

Fortunately, I’m learning what to do with this inner victim.

Sometimes I need to hear her out, because the reality is, she’s actually upset or angry or afraid about something, and it turns out I can help. Sometimes I need to take the reins and be the wise adult, like I’d do with a tantruming toddler. I need to let her know she’s not in control – I am. But some days, I need to totally give in to her, and let her express herself through me.

What does this look like? Pretty much just what it sounds like. If you’ve been trapped in the victim fog, try bringing yourself into a bedroom, or into a secluded place in nature, and making yourself comfortable. Then try giving voice to this part of you. Try saying the things she really wants to say, moving in a way that expresses her frustration and irritation, and even vocalizing the whining!

This may sound silly or odd, but the reality is, you can’t talk your way out of how you feel. It just doesn’t work. So sometimes, we need to simply give in and explore it. If you spend a good chunk of time doing this practice, it can actually create relief. You may even be able to laugh at yourself and how you were acting just minutes ago. And that’s when you’ll know you’re in a different space, emotionally – and ready to move on, take charge, and create the life you want.